Sunday, 18 January 2015


                                    Quick Fix

       I was enjoying my walk listening to my favourite singer. This is what I missed  because for six months I had gone to the U.S. It being winter ,temperature dipping to minus 30,I could not venture out.
I was waiting to come back to tropical whether to enjoy the sun's heat. But my misfortune, I pulled my leg muscle and was told by the doctor to keep off all exercises and walking. This put an end to my dream of morning walk. 
After two months of rest , today I had resumed my walk. The cool breeze, the sun's heat and my music was making me ecstatic when I hared someone call me. I came to a stand still. ''Hi, how are you? happy Yougadi ''Said Aruna, my neighbor.
''Not seen you for long. Off course I too have not come for walk for a while.'' Said I. Instead of asking me why I had not gone for walk , she said'' I went through two knee replacement. That is why I could not come. but now I am o.k''.

Upon hearing this news , I was livid with anger.'' You are not even fifty five. Why did you undergo this operation? I was telling you that I will teach  arthritis prevention asanas. You never made any attempt in last six years.''
She replied,'' Oh, it is in my genes. I can't help it.''
This upset me so much that I walked away from her. Her fatality was  infectious. She was ready to undergo knee replacement and physiotherapy to other options. She wanted a quick fix. 

The attitude of people towards exercise is very puzzling. People start narrating their physical pain, specially the 50+. Being a yoga teacher, I tell them some simple asana or pranayama. They immediately withdraw into a shell or acknowledge that they know yoga, they have learnt it. They do not practice it but are proud that they have learnt it [in a congregation of 20-30].

The same  incident in the west commands respect and they are eager to learn.  
In India ,people want immediate solution. They are ready to undergo knee replacement than learning some simple exercises to prevent surgery , a quick fix.

This outlook we see in every situation. Take Cataract eye operation,diabetes[instead of diet control insulin],dentures, piles etc. People prefer spending money and undergoing the operation than finding alternative therapy. The hospitals exploit the situation and harvests money.

The same approach is seen in collage admission,be it medical,engineering or M.B.A.The kids know that the parents will get them a seat by hook or crook. So they enjoy their college life ignoring hard work and studies. No doubt the number of private collages is on rise. Right from K.G admission to high school, we observe the same impatience. 

Thirty years back this was not the case. Only the student with high score could do medicine or any other. Why? Because no one had money to squander. We must blame this excess money culture for our plight. I have observed maids going to the Dr to get rid of fever. The Dr exploits their ignorance and gives them injection saying they will be cured. He charges hefty fee. The maid comes beaming the next day rid of pain. Is it psychology which worked or the fever was a passing one, we don't know. But the quack Dr benefits and the maid gets a quick fix.

from train booking to registration of land, people are looking for short cuts, willing to pay any price.This is the reason for corruption too.

There is no quick fix in life. No short cuts. What can't be cured has to be endured. This short cut is the reason for youngsters falling pray to Alcohol, drugs and suicide etc. We must teach younger generation Patience and toleration in life . No doubt the divorce rate is increasing. This partner is not right . Leave her or him and look for another. this is the trend and to cure that we must bring up our kids  by not indulging them in every step. Teach them , ''Patience pays''.

Monday, 29 December 2014


                             Thought for the day-1

We come across so many people in our life time but only few leave a mark .

1.  When I was incapacitated, A new acquittance sent food to me.

2. When we needed to go to hospital at odd time, A couple dropped us there . They even supplied hot breakfast.

3.When we moved into a new house, another friend helped us in shifting.

4. When a boy with  A.D.H.D  needed structured one to one teaching, a lady helped them out.

5. A lady taught English free of cost to all underprivileged kids.

There are instances and instances in everyone's  life .

In contrast we come across people who forsake you just when one needs them the most.
Human nature comes  in all hue and colours. As we accept nature's vagaries, we should learn to accept people as they are. 
We should be great full to those who help us and tolerate those who ignored us in time of need.

This act will give us tranquillity .

Monday, 22 December 2014

Cheer Up!
An octogenarian in clean but tattered saffron clothes, visits our home once in two weeks. He sings Kannada Dasa songs, dances in ecstasy and accepts whatever we offer. He demands nothing.  He has no possessions except his tattered bag, full of prasad from various temples he visits. He is fragile, bent, old and quite forgetful, but tireless and always cheerful.
Four or five days a month, he travels to far off  temples on piligrimage by train and night buses. Two weeks in a year he goes to Banaras or Badrinath. Rest of the time he is on his feet wearing a pair of worn-out flip-flops (rubber chappals), covering a radius of four to five kms . Come rain or shine we can hear the melodious rings of the bronze discs in his hands, and open our doors to him.
I often wonder what drives this man. Poverty is written all over him, yet the radiant smile that greets everyone, never vanishes from his face. I am sure it is his devotion to the Supreme Being. An interest in life keeps him going.
We meet so many retired people who lock themselves up in their home, complaining of some malady or other and never venture out unless some work is involved. Many feel vacant, useless and feel neglected by everyone. Such people get depressed, develop an inferiority complex and often try covering it up with anger or arrogance. This is the reason they lose interest in going out or meeting people, and people lose interest in them.
Most of us seniors have lived a full and responsible life. The silver age is the time to sit back and enjoy. Dale Carnegie says - "Little things worry us and eat us up like a giant tree, which has withstood the onslaught of thunder, lightning and storms, but is eaten up by small beetles''.
We must cultivate the habit of taking small irritants lightly. Many times situations don't make us happy or unhappy but how we react to it does. So whatever happens around us, we must try and learn to take it lightly and only then can we relax. Living in joint family or alone, in life's December, one must become very selfish when it comes to anything that affects one's peace of mind. Detachment seems to be the tool. 
So how do we practice the detachment which Hindu Dharma preaches? It does not mean detaching oneself from the family and becoming a Sanyasi. Sanyas is not merely wearing orange clothes. It means detached attachment. Not reacting to circumstances and controlling our thoughts and mind. Watch or witness the circumstances like a third person. Learn to enjoy beauty in all His creations. Be it a flower, architecture or an innocent child's laughter.  
Most seniors allow their mind and body to deteriorate with negative thoughts and inactivity. When a bicycle is lying in the garage for a year, it collects rust and does not function unless the rust is removed, and the bike is serviced. Our mind and body are similar to it. We must keep our body and mind in tune by exercising the body and activating the mind.
Keep the mind engaged in some activity or hobby like:
  1. Reading
  2. Writing
  3. Music
  4. Painting
  5. Photography
  6. Calligraphy
  7. Traveling
  8. Collecting rare items
  9. Repairing things at home
  10. Cooking
  11. Prayers, Meditation, Chanting
  12. Cleaning
  13. Chopping vegetables                      
  14. Gardening
  15. Light sport, Yoga etc.
  16. Travelling.
  17. Bird watching.
  18. Boating.
  19. Walking. 
You can be a real help to your loving spouse by helping with daily chores. There is no shame in it. In fact, it is very touching to see an elderly couple helping each other.
The list of things to do that can bring back the vitality to your life is endless. But the best thing to do is go back in memory to your school days and recollect what your hobby was at the time and try to pursue it. The whole point is to retain the mental faculty without deterioration. There is no age limit for learning. There are language classes all around. One could pick up any one of them and join. This way one meets lots of people and gets to interact. Otherwise it is very easy to be stuck alone at home and go into depression, Dementia, senility and Alzheimer's.
Beware! This does not mean competing with youngsters, but accepting one’s age and proceeding accordingly. Using our will power we must stop failing health. Daily practice of Pranayama and Yogasana gives seniors a new lease of life and teaches one to face each day happily. Dean Hawkes says - "For every ailment under the sun there is a remedy, or there is none. If there be one, try to find it; if there be none; never mind it.''

Keeping oneself active and cheerful is the secret of good life in the silver age.

Saturday, 22 November 2014

                                                             

                     Solitude,a balm or a bane? 

The first sound in this world a  baby hears is the heart beat of man. But as he grows up he forgets to listen to it and gets entangled in all sorts of noise going around.

He becomes addicted to company. So much so that it’s impossible for him to stay alone. So when that is withdrawn, he becomes helpless and needs helpline to chat. No doubt today chat rooms, phone helplines are booming business. Being social is fine but to feel helpless without it is disease. Today Young and old are afflicted with this disease. We are either  talking with others on phone, Skype or  WhatsApp or talking to ourselves in the mind.
        
The seniors with retirement and aging get isolated from society as they are robbed of their sole occupation .Some accept it with grace and some others don’t. Even if they do live with   their children, they still face the same situation. The children and grand kids are busy all around them. In this scenario, the aged feel lonely.
Loneliness denotes   pain and solitude denotes joy of being alone. The question is how does one leap from loneliness to solitude.

 

The word solitude brings to mind the well known poem of Wordsworth, ’’The solitary reaper’’. This poem is not about a lonely girl but about the feeling of tranquility a girl feels in solitude in the lap of nature.
Only in deep solitude, the mind becomes still. This leads to introspection and inner understanding. Loneliness connotes a missed absence of companion .Very often we are searching for companionship and so we miss introspection and looking within. Living in solitude is living with fresh, open mind that rejects memories of the past and anxieties .When we are occupied with memories; the present loses its vividness. The mind becomes dull .We are inwardly agitated and that leads to loneliness. Loneliness does not arise out of our isolation from others but due to isolation from oneself.

Here I would like to quote Swami Chinmayananda,’’ Thoughts can make us or mar us. If rightly harnessed they can be used for constructive purpose. If misused, they can destroy us totally.’’
On feeling lonely Chinmayananda said;’’ If you don’t like your own company, why inflict it on others?’’ 
Very often we find ourselves lonely even when surrounded by company and feel all this pursuit of company worthless. Freedom from memories removes this feeling. So we must learn to free ourselves from addiction and attachment. We are addicted to talking and listening to another person. When this is not provided, the mind gets bored and feels lonely. The one who surrenders to this feeling, gets diseases like depression, senility etc.

So what is the solution?
The first hand solution that all of us know is to take up some challenging work. Yes, but this gives only momentary relief. The problem remains deep rooted.
All the scriptures and religions in the world give one and the only solution,’ Meditation’. Exploring in silence is a psychic way. It’s an adventure into the unknown, which will keep one with ones’ inner self, calming the mind in the process. The only silence we know is when the noise stops. But that is not the true silence. That only aids in meditation for the pursuit of which the ancient saints went to Himalayas and still go today.

Those of us who have fulfilled our duties to our family and are free from pressing occupation should count ourselves blessed that we get so much time with ourselves to peruse meditation and silence which purifies the mind. Those who are busy in worldly pursuits too should practice meditatation once a day to cleanse and relax our mind. In the world of today man is all the time on the run. To be healthy mentally and physically this is the only way.
People who practice meditation should share their experience with others to inspire them.
Tranquility and not agitation is the innate nature of humans. We experience it in sleep. The sages in all activity experience Brhaman due to meditation and tapas. That is tranquility due to solitude.

To quote, ‘Charles Tolle’s example, a beggar was sitting on the roadside on a box. He begged to a passerby .
The man said to him, ’I have nothing to give you. What are you sitting on? The beggar replied,’’An old box’’. The man asked,’’have you ever looked inside?’ the beggar said, ’what is the point? ’The man said,’ open it’’.When the beggar opened the box, to his surprise it was filled with gold.
 Similar to the beggar’s we have deep, profound peace within us. Instead of finding it within, we look outside for pleasure. There is a treasure within.
 

Therefore my tip to youngsters is to practice solitude and to the elderly is, treat it your good fortune that you get isolated from society. Make use of the extension God has given us to learn once again what we missed to learn when we were young. This time the lesson is learnt not in school but only in solitude.

Saturday, 6 September 2014


                                      Graceful Aging


Aging is a natural process, is a universal truth. But the decline in physical and mental faculty with aging is also true. How does one face old age? Some people take it as an opportunity and enjoy life .Whereas others call old age a disease. Taking aging gracefully is required.

1. Develop and maintain a strong social support network of family, friends, and colleagues.

2. Develop a personal exercise program combining aerobics and weight work and yoga.

3. Take charge of your brain. Make an active commitment to learning and growth. According to research on lifespan development: IF you continue to use your brain and develop your intellect and if you remain socially connected and active, you can actually increase your IQ scores as you age.

4. Take charge of your financial future. Plan, plan, and plan. If you are single, don't count on getting married to finance your old age. You are on your own! If you are married, learn what is going on with your finances. If you are female, statistics say you will spend seven to fifteen years or more as a widow, depending upon the age difference between you and your husband. You will probably be on your own for a long time. Plan, plan, plan.

5. Eat a low-fat, high-fiber diet. Learn to live on fruits, vegetables, grains, and legumes as much as possible. Plan a few days a week that include no animal products, not even dairy.

6. Stay aware of the latest nutritional information.

7. Don't follow every kind of diet that is advertised. Take a dietician or Dr’s advice.

8. Remember that the pharmaceutical industry makes money from selling drugs. Read, study, and form your own opinions about taking cholesterol, blood pressure, estrogen and other "old-age" medicines. Very few long-term studies are available to show the results of these medicines. The industry does extensive advertising to the medical profession pushing these drugs.  It is your responsibility to read, study, and keep up with the truth for yourself.

9. Practice light to no drinking.

10. No smoking, no matter what.

11. Remain goal oriented. Regardless of your age, still set one, five, ten and twenty-year goals. Keep on growing!

 12. Don't become more conservative than ever. Age is an attitude. Conservative is an old, stuffy attitude that allows life to pass you by and makes you sound old and boring.

And if you are approaching retirement without the best retirement income in the world, take heart. There will be more and better work opportunities for older workers in the future.
Quality aging requires that you embark on a new path in order to reap all of the rewards from aging that you can.


There are many gains as we age. We should count our blessings and instead of grumbling and blaming our misfortune,we should better our life and lead a happy, service oriented life.

Wednesday, 27 August 2014

                                                                Friends

Even though we use the term friends as a term of endearment to describe many people in our lives, we often have a hard time knowing what a friend really is. Psychologist mark friend as those who accept each other, with plus and minuses, confide in each other and feel responsible for each other.
“A real friend walks in when rest of the world walks out.’ ’Says Walter Winchell.
In today’s world we depend on friends more and more for support, which the family used to provide; emotional and sometime financial. With people living away from their family and so many people single even till the age of 30, friends become the support.
Friendship can happen anytime. Sometimes married partners are like friends. Sometimes warring sisters who fought throughout life can become friends in later life. Sometimes mother –daughter become the best friends. Friendship is on par with marriage and kinship in relationship. Yet it can be the most neglected. We make no vows to friends, yet we have great expectations: understanding, caring, concern. We expect a friendship to last forever.
How do we make a friendship blossom, grow and survive? It requires more attention, skill than we thought. So, ’’the only way to have a friend is to be one’’, Says Waldo Emerson. Becoming a friend involves sharing, confidentiality and openness with the need of being protective of each other’s feeling. It goes out of balance if the intensity is one sided. It’s the listening and sharing which makes friendship last. ’A friend is one who believes in you when you have ceased to believe in yourself."
What we should not do in friendship? Backbiting, neglecting, criticizing,boasting all the time, expecting the other to be on your beck and call,  not giving any space, not responding, revealing  their secrets , taking the other for granted ,not caring and hurting each other’s feeling are the impediment to friendship. Such a one can not last and when it breaks, it will hurt and snap forever.
Increasingly it is seen that gender does not matter in friendship. Sexes are interacting more today at work and socially.
Can a hurt friendship be mended? If u feel a close friend has hurt you , it’s worthwhile to sit down and say;’’ as I care for you , I want to sort this out’’. Then calmly talk about it and clear the misunderstanding. What we normally do is to sulk, shut up and brood. Such behavior will take you farther away from your friendship. A so called friend who does not show concern during your troubles, cannot be called a real friend. We all know that friend in need is a friend in deed. But how many of us try to put this in action?
   Friendship, as understood here, is a distinctively personal relationship that is grounded in a concern on the part of each friend for the welfare of the other, for the other's sake, and that involves some degree of intimacy. As such, friendship is undoubtedly central to our lives, in part because the special concern we have for our friends must have a place within a broader set of concerns, including moral concerns, and in part because our friends can help shape who we are as persons.Friends are the most important ingredient in this recipe of life." Therefore hold them tight. Lucky are those who hold a lasting friendship.

Monday, 28 July 2014



                             Alzheimer’s


As one progress in age, one tend to discuss health more often than any other topic. But in spite of million people afflicted by this devastating illness ''Alzheimer's'', it is rarely discussed either by seniors or by youngsters. Though Alzheimer's is not a normal part of aging, still all those who cross the age of 60; must know what the disease is.
Origin of the term Alzheimer's dates back to 1906, when Dr,Alois Alzheimer's a German physician presented a case history before a medical meeting of a women who suffered from rare brain disorder .A brain autopsy identified the plaque and tangles that today characterizes Alzheimer's disease.
It's important to acknowledge that your dear one may be afflicted with Alzheimer's and then take the person for a through checkup. If we take into account not only the victim but also the immediate family who are equally affected by this illness then we must conclude that it is the stigma attached to any mental disease, which makes the family hide it. Unless the society is educated about Alzheimer's, disease we cannot give any help to the victims, which is ever-growing in numbers.
The hope for world lies in preventing, slowing, or even reversing the disease and bolstering health-care system to meet the ever-increasing number of cases.
 Dementia means a gradual worsening in memory and other mental abilities as a result of brain damage. The most common form of Dementia is Alzheimer's.
Dementia is most unrecognized, under diagnosed. The reason being-
1. It happens to old people.
2. There is no known cure.
3. There is lack of facility to give proper care or support.
4. Lack of information about the disease.
5. Stigma attached to mental disease.
  The first reaction to the suggestion that your dear one may be suffering with Alzheimer's is denial. It's important to acknowledge that your family member has Alzheimer's disease, if one finds the symptoms related to it and then take the person for through checkup to identify it.
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   The most common form of the disease called late onset of Alzheimer's acurse at around 65 years of age. Such cases arise out of complex combination of genetic and non-genetic factors rather than single cause. Some treatable conditions such as depression, drug interaction and thyroid problems can cause symptoms that mimic Dementia. The duration of the disease averages to about eight years but can vary to twenty years. No two people experience the disease in then same way.
We can identify the disease by some of the glaring symptoms-
1.  Forgetting recently learnt information. While it is normal to forget appointments, names or numbers, those with Dementia will forget such things more often and not remember them later. But may be able remember some old event.
2. Difficulty in performing familiar tasks, finding it hard to complete everyday tasks like not knowing steps for preparing meal, using household appliance or participating in a life long hobby.
3. Trouble finding the right words and substituting unusual words making speech or writing hard to understand.
4. Dis orientations of time and space.
5. They Could  become lost on their own street; forget where they are, how they got there and how to get 6. Poor or decreased judgment: may dress without regard to the whether. They show poor judgment about money too.
6  Problem with abstract thinking, balancing a checkbook may be hard.
7. Misplacing things. Person with Alzheimer's may put things in unusual places like the phone in the freezer.
8. Rapid change in the mood for no apparent reasons.
9. Change in personality-does take place with age but people with Alzheimer's change a lot, become very confused, suspicious, fearful or dependent on a family member.
10. Loss of initiative-, become passive   like not wanting routine chores, sitting in front of T.V.
13. forgetting   and demanding meal after having it.
  Most people with Alzheimer's live at home with caregiver having the responsibility of meeting the patient's physical needs managing daily routines and making important medical and legal decisions. Many people with Alzheimer's and their family members find support groups to be helpful. Support group offer a forum to discuss their day-to-day situation and gain practical help in coping with the changes and challenges as the disease progresses.
  Alzheimer's disease progressively destroys cells in the brain and gradually destroys a person's memory and ability to learn,   reason, make judgment, communicate and carry out daily activities.
 As Alzheimer's progresses people may also experience changes in the personality of the patient and behavior. In the late stages people may need help with dressing, personal hygiene, eating and other basic activities. The plight of the care   giver is pathetic as they have to deal with their elders who behave weirdly as the disease advances, so much so that they need to be housed in a shelter where such cases are taken care of. This causes anguish to the near once. So the relatives too need counseling.
The most glaring symptoms as the disease advances -
1.      Complaining that they were never served meal and argue. No reasoning works with them.
2.      Tearing paper, books, clothes etc and collecting them.
3.      Walking off from the house.
4.      Forgetting one's relation with their children or spouse and mistaking them for some other relation and insisting on it.
Research has also shown that effective care and support can improve quality of life for individual and their caregiver over the course of the disease from diagnosis to the end of the victim's life. For Alzheimer's care-giver, the three fold impact  of physical, emotional and financial aspect of the disease often are horrendous and overwhelming. The care    giver needs support from not only the family but professional agencies to give advice about-
1. Educating the family about Alzheimer's.
2.  Giving home safety lessons.
3. Creating support group
4. Give Caregiver training.

How can we contribute to the cause of Alzheimer's?
=Learn more about the disease and progress made in research.
=Donate to the Alzheimer's association.
=Maintain a healthy brain so as to reduce the risk of the disease by keeping mentally active.
=Manage weight, cholesterol, B.P and blood sugar.
=Follow healthy, low fat diet.
=Exercise regularly.
=Stay socially active, connected to society whatever once age may be.
Alzheimer's and related disorder society of India says, Dementia will be a major challenge that we in India will be faced. Unfortunately neither the Government nor the public has fully understood the repercussion of this mind crippling, devastating illness.
How can Government, societies and business houses contribute in bringing awareness among public and professionals?
=Consistent, continuous information of the disease through media.
=By raising the issue in Assembly and parliament.
=Propagating information at grass- root level by the Government.
=Make available information about the disease in regional languages.
=Producing feature film, documentaries and serials.
=By holding exhibition of photos and written material.
=To organize Alzheimer's fund by the Government.
=The medical practitioners should organize associations through rotary, lions etc in every area.
The world is moving from hopelessness to hopefulness without Alzheimer's.
It's only less than two decades since we have understood the disease. Now it can be diagnosed with 90% accuracy.

The case of an Alzheimer’s patient getting lost as they wonder off forgetting even their names is very common. There are cases where the family shuts them off and refuses to register a case of lost person.  Anyone coming across such a case must help them with the support of police or ‘Elder’s Helpline.’