Solitude,a balm or a bane? 

The first sound in this world a  baby hears is the heart beat of man. But as he grows up he forgets to listen to it and gets entangled in all sorts of noise going around.

He becomes addicted to company. So much so that it’s impossible for him to stay alone. So when that is withdrawn, he becomes helpless and needs helpline to chat. No doubt today chat rooms, phone helplines are booming business. Being social is fine but to feel helpless without it is disease. Today Young and old are afflicted with this disease. We are either  talking with others on phone, Skype or  WhatsApp or talking to ourselves in the mind.

        

The seniors with retirement and aging get isolated from society as they are robbed of their sole occupation .Some accept it with grace and some others don’t. Even if they do live with   their children, they still face the same situation. The children and grand kids are busy all around them. In this scenario, the aged feel lonely.

Loneliness denotes   pain and solitude denotes joy of being alone. The question is how does one leap from loneliness to solitude.

 

The word solitude brings to mind the well known poem of Wordsworth, ’’The solitary reaper’’. This poem is not about a lonely girl but about the feeling of tranquility a girl feels in solitude in the lap of nature.

Only in deep solitude, the mind becomes still. This leads to introspection and inner understanding. Loneliness connotes a missed absence of companion .Very often we are searching for companionship and so we miss introspection and looking within. Living in solitude is living with fresh, open mind that rejects memories of the past and anxieties .When we are occupied with memories; the present loses its vividness. The mind becomes dull .We are inwardly agitated and that leads to loneliness. Loneliness does not arise out of our isolation from others but due to isolation from oneself.

Here I would like to quote Swami Chinmayananda,’’ Thoughts can make us or mar us. If rightly harnessed they can be used for constructive purpose. If misused, they can destroy us totally.’’

On feeling lonely Chinmayananda said;’’ If you don’t like your own company, why inflict it on others?’’ 

Very often we find ourselves lonely even when surrounded by company and feel all this pursuit of company worthless. Freedom from memories removes this feeling. So we must learn to free ourselves from addiction and attachment. We are addicted to talking and listening to another person. When this is not provided, the mind gets bored and feels lonely. The one who surrenders to this feeling, gets diseases like depression, senility etc.

So what is the solution?

The first hand solution that all of us know is to take up some challenging work. Yes, but this gives only momentary relief. The problem remains deep rooted.

All the scriptures and religions in the world give one and the only solution,’ Meditation’. Exploring in silence is a psychic way. It’s an adventure into the unknown, which will keep one with ones’ inner self, calming the mind in the process. The only silence we know is when the noise stops. But that is not the true silence. That only aids in meditation for the pursuit of which the ancient saints went to Himalayas and still go today.

Those of us who have fulfilled our duties to our family and are free from pressing occupation should count ourselves blessed that we get so much time with ourselves to peruse meditation and silence which purifies the mind. Those who are busy in worldly pursuits too should practice meditatation once a day to cleanse and relax our mind. In the world of today man is all the time on the run. To be healthy mentally and physically this is the only way.

People who practice meditation should share their experience with others to inspire them.

Tranquility and not agitation is the innate nature of humans. We experience it in sleep. The sages in all activity experience Brhaman due to meditation and tapas. That is tranquility due to solitude.

To quote, ‘Charles Tolle’s example, a beggar was sitting on the roadside on a box. He begged to a passerby .

The man said to him, ’I have nothing to give you. What are you sitting on? The beggar replied,’’An old box’’. The man asked,’’have you ever looked inside?’ the beggar said, ’what is the point? ’The man said,’ open it’’.When the beggar opened the box, to his surprise it was filled with gold.

 Similar to the beggar’s we have deep, profound peace within us. Instead of finding it within, we look outside for pleasure. There is a treasure within.

 

Therefore my tip to youngsters is to practice solitude and to the elderly is, treat it your good fortune that you get isolated from society. Make use of the extension God has given us to learn once again what we missed to learn when we were young. This time the lesson is learnt not in school but only in solitude.