East and West - Union is best

Till three decades ago we believed in Rudyard Kipling’s Poem. “Oh, East is East and West is West and never the twain can meet.” With most of our kids crossing the ocean for higher studies or jobs, this saying has become a myth. 

With modern technological progress, cell phone and internet have shrunk the world. We must keep updating ourselves as time goes by. International marriages have become common, especially with people who live abroad. So our lifestyle too has changed. We eat a variety of world cuisine like Italian, French, Chinese, Thai, Greek, Ethiopian etc. Yesterday, I had been to a Vietnamese restaurant and had a noodle dish which was like our "seviyan upma".

Today we wear dresses like pants, skirts, maxi, midi, jeans, yoga pants, salwar-kameez. Our kids wear even hot pants and spaghetti tops instead of just sarees. Our kids talk in all kinds of accents - American, Canadian, German etc.

Drinking was a taboo in our society, today it is a norm. Pub culture has invaded our cities and we see eighteen year old kids including young girls going to pubs.

Despite this, anyone who comes to West [here I will mention American continent specifically as I come here every year], for the first time notices the difference between the American and Indian life. To name a few -

·       The moment one lands and comes out of the airport, one notices the cars being driven on wrong side as here the driver sits on right side and so we feel that the car is going to crash into the opposite one!

·       In the airport everybody walks to their right, whereas we in India walk to our left.

·       When we cross someone on the road and look into their eyes, we smile. In America, you are supposed to wish them. In India we pass people without saying a word and nobody is poorer due to it.

·       We reach home or hotel and switch on the light in the room and are foxed as the switch looks like it is off, as their switches work opposite to ours.

·       In the night, one can hear the sounds from the adjoining room as the houses are wooden ones and the walls have only dry walls not cement ones. Any tap or flush in the house can be heard by all.

·       Total silence pervades the night so much that it gives you the creeps. Even in the remotest village in India one can hear train, highway traffic, animals, people etc.

·       The first time I came to America, I was puzzled to see the absence of crows crowing and birds chirping. I was told that the crows were annihilated in some parts of America to keep the environment clean.

·       Most houses are fully or partially carpeted and hence there is no sweeping and mopping every day. The first reaction to this is horror. What! No cleaning every day? Many Indian parents want to vacuum the carpet every day and make it thread-bare!

·       This brings us to the question of maids. Maids are a rarity and very expensive. There is no equivalent to a bai or rama. Everyone is a handyman or handywoman.

·       Neighbours keep to themselves. Sometime one doesn’t even know who lives next door after staying for more than a year. My friend was telling me that one of her neighbours doesn't like his privacy disturbed and so if your kid happens to throw the ball in their yard by mistake and they are informed, the neighbours will not throw it back. In India, one would take this opportunity to get to know the neighbour.

·       When you go for a morning walk, you see deserted streets and cars zooming by, windows raised, and you can rarely see the driver. This for a person coming from over-populated India is difficult to come to terms with. On the way you see well-laid out gardens, and in summer adorned with fantastic flowers of all sizes – a riot of colours. You go near them waiting for the fragrance to fill your nostrils; you are in for a shock as they have no fragrance. I saw a hibiscus plant having huge flowers in three colours - pink, yellow and orange! Rarely a flower is without fragrance in India except Aboli [kanakambaram].

·       Weather is so unpredictable that one checks the weather site before stepping out. It's so cold in winter that one can hardly step out. This to a person coming from India is the biggest punishment, especially if you are a senior who is used to morning walks. As the weather is extreme in winter and summer [three months], either the A.C or the heater is on. To a person coming from India, it causes immense suffering. Dryness of skin and nose is common even with the humidifier. We are used to fresh air and fan. So the weather becomes a great botheration.  We rarely think about weather conditions over there. To wear a jacket and cap or not while stepping out even to your own front yard is a big question.

·       When you tell the kids to take bath in the morning, they promptly reply - "No, we will catch cold if we bathe and go out. So, we bathe and get into the bed." In India even on Saturdays when we went to morning school  leaving home at 6.30, we would take bath. Nobody told you to, it was inborn in us.

·       Kids in the West are trained to question everything and everyone. It may be parents or grand-parents. In India, one doesn't question the grand-parents. So getting used to it is not easy. I told my grand kid,"It is not good for health to drink water just before the meal. You should drink water after the meal.'' ''Why granny, here we are told to drink water with food”, she said. Though questioning is a very good practice, it’s difficult to digest that a little kid is questioning you. Our culture is to respect and listen to grand-parents. I know of a grandparent who was visiting U.S, who scolded their grand kid for misbehaviour and the next minute the cops came to question them. The nine year old kid had called 911[cop] as they are told in the school that if the parents hit or abuse them, they should call the number 911.

·       People all the time eat frozen food whereas in India we believe in eating only freshly cooked food. Hindu scriptures say that ‘Annam is Brahman’. Food is the lord of creation. We have rules saying in whose company we should eat food, what kind, and only freshly prepared food should be eaten. In the West people eat standing, walking, working etc. We eat with hand and they use spoon, fork etc. Food habits are worlds apart.

·       Meeting a Doctor is next to impossible unless one is seriously ill. One can describe the condition to the nurse who will give you feedback. In India every nook and corner has a Doctor's clinic and one can see him or request him to come home. This non-availability of Doctor is a shocking situation for people from India.

I would conclude by saying - if the East meets West and imbibes their discipline, dedication, punctuality, non- meddling mind, work ethics and importantly not giving free advice, it will make us a great nation.

Conversely, if West absorbs - Indian hospitality, good neighbourliness, cooking fresh food, respecting elders - from our culture, with the progress in western countries, they will have less family problems and depression.

More and more westerners are showing interest in our classical dance, music, Bollywood and food. With this trend a day is not far when East will meet West and vice-a-versa.

I would be obliged if you can add to this musing.