Friday, 18 December 2015



                              The chasm


When kids are born, with joy comes the parents’ expectation from them. That  is why one hears comments like from the parents ,’’ she will become an artist like me. Look at her fingers!’’.

We were no exception to this rule. Luckily our kids turned out to be as per our expectation. What we did not expect was the permanent distance of space that would develop between us. Their ambition took wings to North America. Its twenty two years since they left. Gradually we learnt to cope with the lacuna which suddenly developed in our life. Off course it was a trying time almost going into depression.
We found a solution to fill this chasm by visiting them every year. Our lives are now divided between India, America and Canada. We are the envy of many. We are named Globe trotters. But according to us, those are the gifted once whose kids visit them very often, they live nearby and give meaning to their life, not the other way round. At airports, we very often see old Indian parents sometimes on the wheel chair traveling to be with their kids. This is not an easy task for elderly. With all their pains, diseases they have to do it. Life at older age craves for stability and routine. One feels for them.

It was a day like any other when you think that things are perfect and lo! A phone call wakes me up from my complacency.  Our son had met with an accident in the U.S. He was unscathed but totally shaken. In such a situation what happens to the parents in India?  The unending long distance calls  to him and HIM [God] starts.
When the news that our son has finished his studies and landed in a plush job comes, we embark on a trip to see him. When we land in America, we are hit by the cultural shock. It is nothing like what you see in western movie. The first thing that hits you is the speed.  At the airport people swiftly pick up their luggage and move on. No wasting time like us. The speed of the car and the right hand driving makes one nervous. The whole city looks like an invisible hand is maintaining it. Not a speck of dirt. Houses neatly lined up. Cars moving in their lane. Lawns mowed and in summer gardens blooming. You rarely spot people except in subways ,malls or bus stops.
Their discipline and dedication to duty is admirable. Fun time is fun time and work is worship. This is what Bhagavat Geeta teaches Hindus in length. We show devotion to God but it is missing in our work ethics. If only we practice discipline and follow duty , our country would become great place to live and our youngsters wouldn’t leave never to return.

They too are torn into two. One part lives abroad and the other in India. Having gone there, the work culture attracts them. The rich Indian culture pulls them to homeland. They look back for a ray of sunlight and hope from India unhinged by corruption. Alas! What they find is only a frozen path.
The chasm between the kids abroad and the parents in India keeps growing due to population growth in India, influx of  villagers migrating to city and the high rate of corruption at all levels. No doubt retirement homes are blooming in India.

When will this chasm end?

2 comments:

  1. The "chasm" will appear to widen but in reality contract.
    As I telling somebody recently, imagine how my grandfather must have felt when his children left South India and went somewhere far away. In those days telephones practically did not exist. Travelling to their homes meant a travel of more than 40 hours. Then my generation similarly moved and phones were easily available. And now when our children moved away, journey time has collapsed to 12 hours at max. Face-to-face conversations take place with the grand-kids over Skype, Whatsup, Hangout, etc.
    So be happy for the next generations who might go to Venus and settle.

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  2. You are right Ravi in some ways.
    1.Traveling time is 30 hours from the time we leave home.
    2. Now we have nuclear families unlike olden time. There were joint families. As we near 70, we need support and our own family to feel secure.
    3. I need not tell you the feeling grand kids touch gives to an oldy.Skype can not compare with it.
    Thank God I don't need to see the day my grand kids going to Venus!!!

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